#100daysofpractice

As those of you who follow me on Instagram will perhaps have seen, on 01-01-20 I began taking part in '#100daysofpractice'. For anyone who doesn't know, #100daysofpractice is pretty much what it says on the tin. It's musicians, practising for 100 days and sharing their experiences. Over the past few years I've followed a number of musicians as they have shared their work. They have inspired me, and now it's my turn.

A professional orchestral musician (who shall remain nameless!) once told me: 'I practised enough at college to get a job so I could coast to retirement'. It is a tragedy, but when something is your job, it often (but not always) takes the fun out of it. You stop playing because you want to, and end up playing because you have to... 

Well, I am definitely guilty of losing sight of the fun... Worse still during the last 11 years I've taken considerable time off for each of my children. At one point I even put the clarinet down quite deliberately with the intention of never playing again. I was worn out with some elements of the industry. In the end I missed playing too much though, and chose to get back on the horse. I didn't have a goal in mind, I just wanted to play. After a while I started to work again, but I promised myself I would try very hard to keep the spirit of the woman who had just wanted to play her clarinet. 

My reason for doing #100daysofpractice is very simple. I want to. It is a good motivator for me. It's not because I want everyone to think I'm wonderful (let's face it, sharing practice videos is everyone's worst nightmare and it could well have the opposite effect!), but it is because I want to push myself and share the journey. Playing an instrument is wonderful, and the journey you make within yourself when you commit to self-improvement is amazing. Music is more than how you play, it's about what you share with other people WHEN you play. It's about how other people can relate to you through watching and listening. It is about being human - my goal in sharing is to be human. 

Now, OF COURSE I play the clarinet so practice is already a part of my life, but I'm almost always practising FOR something... When I started this process on 01-01-2020 though, that was NOT the reason. I was actually on my holidays :)   

So as week one draws to a close, here are a few initial thoughts:

• I am really enjoying it. I love playing and working in this way nurtures this part of who I am. 
• Practising is therapy. Even when you sound crap, blowing a clarinet tones your vagus nerve and it just lifts your whole being. 
• Practising is mindfulness in action. One of the biggest challenges to me in motherhood has been practising when my kids are 'at me'. The interruptions and background noises eat away at your concentration and this AP/BF mum found it impossible to really focus. Now that my children are a little bit older I'm finally able to go deeper, and it is actual bliss, even though often I suck (pardon the pun!). 
• I have given too much of myself away. Even once my children were a little less demanding I realised I was still giving my time away to people who didn't understand that my work and practice was IMPORTANT. My bad... Since making a conscious choice to redistribute my time - to me - I am so much happier. 
• I like practising for NO REASON. I have actually found myself working at things I wouldn't normally work at precisely because I don't have to... 
• It doesn't matter what other people think. This is REALLY important... I can absolutely promise you that I am only doing this for myself. People who have nothing better to do than speak negatively about other musicians are simply missing the point... I've had private messages from people telling me how I've inspired them to pick up their instrument after years, and I've also had messages from people saying that they are too scared to put a video online. I suspect it's a rather 'classical' affliction to feel this way, and that maybe other genres of music are more welcoming/less elitist. Maybe I'm wrong, but whether you're an amateur or a professional it doesn't matter.  If you're happy to share a picture of your lunch or your new shoes on social media, how much more inspiring is it that you share your musical journey? Now don't get me wrong, of course I worry about how I am being perceived, but I absolutely think that committing to this is the right thing to do and I am working hard to feel the fear and do it anyway :) 
• I can feel myself improving. It's a nice feeling. 

The world of social media is scary. Heck the world of classical music is scary! It makes you feel inadequate and the loud personalities dominate, particularly (it seems) when it comes to the clarinet. Many people worry about being 'found out' though, even people who come across as confident. Self-doubt is actually far more common than you may realise*. We are not all such strong personalities, BUT there is a place for everyone. There is a place for me and there is a place for you, and so I invite you to join me on this journey... It is a journey of self-improvement, and it requires humility - but I do not think you will regret it. I'm only a week in and whilst I know I will have some tough days ahead, I am committed. I can't wait to see what the next 93 days have in store. 

You can find me on Instagram at @_anneclarinet. My profile is set to private (because it's a personal profile) but you can request to follow me and I'd love to follow your #100daysofpractice in return.

*If you struggle with nerves, try this blog.